We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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