So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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