I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
