the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
