i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
