theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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