my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
