Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How does one acquire holy water?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
