Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I will be naked everywhere
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
