I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
