Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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