I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
