I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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