I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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