My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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