just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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