I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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