Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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