i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
