Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
