Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
