I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
