Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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