2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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