My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
