You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
