I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
