Don't you send me to vm
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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