I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
