I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
