You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
