Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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