and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
