was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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