May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
