Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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