I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This baby is an asshole
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
