is your mom at the bar?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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