did you get engaged???
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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