She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
