Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
