Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So gin and wine won't be happening again
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
