Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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