Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
wow bdsm is so cute
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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