after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
