i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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