Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
