let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
