Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
