Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
